Remembering Phil, Where the Friendship Bench Still Sits 

Sep 24, 2025

If you ever stopped by the Canadian Mental Health Association – Calgary Region (CMHA Calgary), chances are you already knew Phil. You may not have known his name, but you likely remember the wave, the smile or Tomtom the little Pomeranian by his side. He was the kind of person you noticed, not because he asked to be seen, but because he made you feel seen. 

That yellow bench sits on a busy corner where the rhythm of the city passes by every day. The CTrain rumbles past, people hurry to work or home, and the street hums with constant motion. Yet Phil had a way of slowing it all down. He often had music playing, and it would cut through the noise, making you stop for a moment, step back, and feel. In the middle of the hustle, his presence brought a sense of pause and welcome. 

Just outside our office, the Friendship Bench was created as a place to spark conversations about mental health and remind us that connection matters. For us, that bench will always be remembered as Phil’s bench. 

Phil was a daily presence, welcoming staff, volunteers, and neighbours with music playing, Tomtom barking, and an energy that turned a simple corner of the block into a place of belonging. Though he often said he didn’t have many friends, the steady stream of people who stopped to chat or greet him by name told a very different story. 

Nicole, one of our Independent Living Supports (ILS) workers who spent many hours with him, remembers how Phil embodied the bench itself, alive with warmth and connection. “Phil was a classic guy,” she said. “Music on, Pepsi in hand, Tomtom at his side. He’d make the bench feel alive. He and Tomtom were the greeters of the block, Phil with his kindness, and Tomtom with their bark.” 

That bark, as Corrinne, our Recovery College Team Lead, fondly explained, wasn’t a warning at all. “It was just Tomtom’s way of saying hello,” she laughed. 

Inside our Welcome Centre, Phil carried that same easy warmth. After sitting outside, he would often come in to “talk business,” play crib, or share stories with peers. He was a musician at heart and loved filling the space with songs. He once proudly shared that he had bought his daughter an amp as a wedding gift, proof of the joy he found in music and in giving to the people he loved. 

Phil passed away recently, and his absence is deeply felt. The Friendship Bench and the Welcome Centre will always hold pieces of his story, reminders of his music, his humour, his generosity, and his gentle way of connecting with others. 

When we see that bright yellow bench, we will remember Phil, a neighbour, a musician, a friend, and a man who reminded us that even the smallest gestures such as a wave or a smile can leave the biggest impact. 

As we carry Phil’s memory forward, we invite you to honour him by doing what he did best. Sit for a while on the Friendship Bench. Say hello to someone who passes by. Share a smile, a story, or a moment of connection. In doing so, you’ll keep Phil’s spirit alive and remind others, just as he reminded us, that none of us are truly alone. 

For all of us who had the privilege of knowing him, Phil showed how simple gestures create connection. His spirit belongs not only to CMHA Calgary but to the whole community he welcomed from that little yellow bench. 

This story, and the bench that inspired it, is dedicated to Phil and to everyone who believes that kindness and connection can change a day, or even a life.