Recovery is a Process of Self-Love – Marin’s Story Written by David Morales

Today Marin McCue is a small business owner, yoga instructor, and athlete. What her life looks like today – living life in recovery – is vastly different from the Marin McCue of a few years ago.

Her recovery took some time; however, she elaborated on when she first noticed that she was beginning to feel better.

“The first time I recall noticing I was feeling better was about 2 weeks into my new found habit and commitment to journaling and mind-mapping each morning. I would sit and ask myself how I want to feel today and how I want to feel when I lay my head down that night,” she said.

“This would spark some creative and positive thoughts as I visualized the good feelings I wanted to step into. I would then ask myself what one word captured my intention for the day, and then branch off from that word with other positive synonyms, actions to take, and mantras to repeat. This practice was a game changer for me. It made me realize that through daily repetition and reminders I could find the good feelings I was looking for and could let go of any stagnant energy from the day before,” McCue said.

McCue started doing things in her life that began changing how her mental health was impacting her.

“My morning routine of setting and intention and mind-mapping, I was also reading a lot about positive psychology, neuroscience of habits, and self-help books. I would underline and highlight the phrases or ideas that stood out to me and then go back through and record the excerpts I loved into a journal. I treated my mental health like a university program that I needed to study, practice, research, and lean on mentors for support,” she said.

McCue went in to great detail about how her recovery impacted her. It laid out a framework for an empowering transformation, one where she became stronger, and more resilient. It set a foundation of strength, peace, and love.

“Recovery has been a long process. I knew that it was going to be a continuation for ups and downs for a few years, but I focused on really enjoying the ups, and I found a way to be curious and open when I was feeling down,” she said.

“I started to realize that my reactions and judgments about who I should be was getting in the way, so I just allowed myself to be where I was and focused on loving myself up as much as possible. Recovery became a process of self-love. Even when I had a compulsion to do something I knew was not healthy, rather than shame myself or get angry, I chose to love myself. I would put my hand on my heart and thank my compulsion or dark thoughts for coming up and doing their best to protect me,” McCue said.

“I realized that only from a place of love and softness could I release the habits and compulsions I had been victim to for years. Recovery was a process of retraining my mind to see a different perspective than the ones I had used and looked through my whole life. I knew I had recovered when I was able to tell my story without hesitation or worry as to what others would think of me. I own my story and I am proud of who and where I am,” she said.

McCue elaborated on what recovery looks like today.

“I have such empathy and passion for supporting others. I remember the pain and confusion of my past self, and am so grateful that I have found a way to this new state of being. It gives me a lot of joy and purpose in life to find more ways to support others, offer tools, and give hope that there is a way out of darkness. I started a business with this is mind. I coach others and write about my experience and learnings. I make a living and have a positive impact on others because of what I have been through,” she said.

She also had some sage advice for others who are going through their own mental health battle.

“Enjoy it. Write and document the journey for yourself. Trust that good things will come from your darkest moments. Learn to see your dark spells as opportunities for growth and healing. Recognize that there is always a way to shift your perspective to see things as empowering and purposeful,”

“Keep reading. Reach out for support. Once you feel recovered, there will still be moments or days that you feel down. You’re not meant to feel elated all the time. But the more you understand about your mind and body, the more you will be able to coach yourself and grow deeper roots in this new space of health and happiness,” she said.

Our Peer Support program services can be accessed over the phone at 403-297-1402 or through email at peer@cmha.calgary.ab.ca.